He's just not that into you

I just said something that reflected myself so badly. I said.. "I'm just so not cool when comes to relationship". Yeah. I know I am. A loser. A loser when comes to love. I headed towards my feeling, but I always ended up making the wrong move. I don't know what exactly went wrong. I just hate it the way it turns out to be. Has it ended? I don't event know has it ever started. It sounds so ironic. But well.. that's exactly how I'm feeling right now. Contradicting.

I don't really care about how people look at me. I listened nothing from the peers. They feel sorry for me, for what I've told them, and they knew I've tried my best, but they can't do much to me, coz they heard me - I still love him alot. Most of them told me to open up myself, find myself a better choice, but who knows better than me. I know he doesn't wanna commit in the first place, tt's what he said. Since he had made it clear, i should have taken off then.. but i'm just waiting. the feeling is like.. let the ice melt slowly.. but it really took months to melt and evaporate. N I ended up got throw back to the freezer to get frozen up again while i'm trying to evaporating (do u really understand the feeling?) . He loves playing his own game, well I don't, I'm just being nice to compromise with him. That's all. I'm so tire of his game. but I can't seems to find the 'game over' word on the board. Or there isn't in the first place?

I'm always recalling back how nice my first met up with him was. If only I didn't agree to meet him that night (25th Jan 2008).. we would nv ended up like this. In fact is, I would nv ended up like this.

Yesterday, I finally gotten my book. The book is "he's just not that into you.

How come so many women out there met all the rot guys. N the simple answer to all my questions.. it's exactly - He's just not that into you. FUCK! how can this be happening to me too. I had been crying so much for the whole year.. just hoping hard that he would love me one day (yah.. continue to hope so). It says, or in fact, the truth is, if the guy really likes you, you don't have to do anything and just wait. DAMN GOD. i hate the reality. but tt's the real fact. Why me then? Why is it me AGAIN?

here again. I lost my trust to all the friendly and sweet man. they all look the same to me now. their main objective is to have sex at the end of the day. so they get it hardcore once they've gotten your weakness point. So, should I start writing a book of meeting liar? So tt the women out there don't get into such story of mine after they've heard it too? i'm so disappointed with all these freak nowadays. They are so scary.

And once again. I knew I had a hard fall. This round, it's bleeding alot, alot.