This morning... I met up with the bunch of guy colleagues, they went down to Sengkeng for a soccer game. Well... I'm tagging along for the fun of it. Yes, Mr Derrick was right in the beginning, I was there to see him (Mr J). But turns out more of the unknown things became visible to me. First, Miss A & Mr K are together hand in hand. Wow... I'm the odd one there. I felt so lonely out of the spout. Weird. Y am I there in the frst place. Well... frankly, I nv focus on him too much. I was quite carried away by the match, and the PSP. We nv spoke, so did Mr F. Something was not right. He (Mr J) seems like avoiding something. He nv give me any eye contact. What's wrong?
Not that I know until I found out from Mr F that he's aggravated by the gossip. But I have nv been the one who spread those silly things! I'm a victim here too! Damn shit. Someone has inadvertently cause a silent dispute between the both of us. Wrong info convey to him, and causing him to think that I'm the one who announced it to the world that I like ihm. Hey, m I that insensible in the first place? I just keep things naturally, and hope that chances will hope by, and these ppl are saying until I'm that desperate... I'm definitely not this kinda person. Being single is lonely, but I still have my own dignity to carry out, y do I have to say this kinda 'ma lu' things... think I'm feeling good here? Ppl are just talking aloud, but didn't realise that they did no help. Ppl always says "Your fate is controlled by your own hand"... So do I get any rewarding outcome then? It always makes the 'him' thinks that I'm a big turn-off. it's really fucking hell out of my life. I hate it so much.
Worse part was, when I smsed Mr F if he could help as I'm sensing something was not right today, Mr F replied,"You are 2 fast 2 furious. Anyway, he told me that he has a steady target outside. He's quite pissed of the gossips" Ha, what a joke. The gossip or me? He's simply not interested or he's paranoid bout gossiping. Hey, to tell all of you the truth, I'm always the one suffering... I'm always involved in all 'single and available' guys, whom I don't think I suits anyone of them. SO I must say, Mr J is very lucky to have me liking him in the first place. Really feel like... Urgh!
I need a private time to talk to him. But I guess there won't be such chances. He's just a loser. He can't face the thruth and so he's avoiding huh? But for any reason, I really wanna apologise for any inconvenient cause to him. I'm nv happy too.
What if he really says, "Sorry, I'm not interested in you". Well, I simply take it and cry it off for the day. I'm ok with this kinda response. But there is always no such answer. This is damn f**king annoying. Y do this happens to me all the time. I have not get into a beautiful relationship. I just want a simple relationship. That's all. Worst part, my colleague is calling me a dinosaur now. This can really pissed me off.
Nobody I like that likes me too. I hate it.
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