I've dumped him out of my mind!

Friday, was a busy day for me. Tremendously tire for both physical & mental. MAS Inspection. haiz... follow by debrief after the meetings. I haven't got any good rest for the days... writting and writting notes... I hate it so much, coz I don't even know what I'm writting. Comes to thinking of the notes, though I've brought them home, I've not touch them... haha... guess I will not touch them already. Will bring it back to work tmr... happy typing. And I've a tease during the debrief. Very mah lu.. but the MD apologised to me, coz he was the one who cause me laughed by the rest. Well, I was quite speechless when I found chance to interrupt n tried to tell the rest that the inspectors are very confused with our organisational structure. Maybe next time just tell them the key point. Let them ask only if they want to know more. It's really.. KNS la!

Mr W, such a coincident for the day. Met him at the lift while rushing back to my 2nd floor office to put down my stuff n then meet up my lunch khaki for the day, Cristine (coz I was very late), then happily went into Long John Silver to realise that he's having lunch there too. Y say coincident? Coz I'm meeting him for dinner ma! Alamak. He's a nice guy to chat with la. But... hmmm... what word should I use to describe him. In a way a very chatty guy, sensible but insensible at times, playful but matured in the way of reacting to thoughts... hmmm... 'in between' of every extreme. Just a balance mind. Good. I'm wondering if his wife is doubting who he was with till so late (Opps!)... haha... we went to Changi Airport, coz it seems like that is the only place which opens 24hr. I owed him an ice cream ma, but I got 2 treats (i.e. Popeye + Sakae Sushi) from him that day... so it means i still gain profit la. haha. (sound so aunty ah).

We bounced on the new guys from office after our lunch, these new guys includes Mr J. I didn't look at him nor wave to him (which I always did so). I simply find myself very pissed off when I see him. Till now, I still find myself so agitated. Coz I just went to the soccer forum... so happen to click on the topic for attendance for every of their soccer match. I realised he didn 't put my name in for the 'guest appearance'. He's such a bitch (I'm out of word... though Bitch is for ladies...But I really can't think of other words now). U guys think my attendance was for fun? hey, i'm not there to look at him in the first place. I know it's silly to explain at this point of time, but definitely there was other reason why I was there that day. He thinks he's that good huh? Shit. Derrick asked me if I will be going for their today's training. I told him I've got something on. Well, I've given him up. Simply no way out now. A big cross on his face. Frankly speaking, I've nv been so furious for a decade. I can't stand guys who are so petty. Yah, petty is the word. Of course, I'm not being over-sensitive here. perhaps, jealousy? Who cares. Him n I fall out. A big NO, it states No MORE. I've got enough. Mr W advised me to write to him. He said maybe those misunderstanding had just popup simply due to the busybodies, which lead to the big havoc today. Before going to the forum, I did thought of that. But now, NO is the definite answer. I'm not going to talk about him to any other colleagues anymore. One BIG Full-stop.

Phew, I suddenly felt a release . The stone has just fallen off... but seems like my stomach is growling, not sure is it mean for a poo-poo or a crave for food. Ha! Bad appetite for these few days. N the hot weather is back again. I'm 'craving' for my swim at the beach n pool, but surely got to give them a miss, coz my navel has yet to recover... hmmm, guess my fats too thick, the wound is not breathing la... a little redness. Hope it's recovering soon. But I just don't feel any pain... skin is damn thick siah. Haha.

Today, I earned another 45 bucks for a stupid computer lesson. But still one word - Satisfactory. Now got another thing to worry about. The insurance. Hmm... not saying it anymore.

Yesterday I went to visit grandaunty, I can't hold back my tears when granduncle tried to console her, touching her hand and talking to her. I'm so touched of the scene. N grandpa, got hospitalized. Again. He said he's giddy... hmmm... he should be fine la. I think he needs more... Exercise. Old people... always got to face health problems. So scary. How I wish I'm not facing any of these when I'm old. I've been thinking of my family and kids... haha... I suddenly feel like wanting to be a mom... I don't know y la. Just got a thought of it. It's a heavenly feeling when u think about ur future. Hee. Sweet.

(Last one) Pa said he's going to India to work for 2 yrs. I told ma to let him go n work, coz he's kinda naggy when he's at home. I jokingly told him, 2 yrs ltr when he's back, he will see me huddle to my boyfriend... haha. I wish to.

Happy day!

Am I away from the actual time? I seems to... looking at the past few blogs, I mentioned 'today', but those things were happening on 'yesterday'... hahah... whatever.

Today, crazy shopping with Shiwei. I promised her I will slp earlier, coz tmr MAS inspectors will be visiting... gosh... I need to rest soon, but I'm so excited over my newly bought clothes... I just couldn't wait to wear it tmr... I don't care whether it's dirty... I really like the shirt & the shoes.. =) it's Shiwei's last day @ DBS tmr... happy 4 her. We both got almost the same tops... but we tried to avoid clashing with one another, ended up only one of them is the same. Hee.. Smart shopping.

Today, I've got another 3 tops... the isetan & the metro sales... haha... i really love the sales... Mom complaining that I'm buying too much.. (as usual la), but I'm happy, so I can't be bothered!

Frankly speaking, my navel doesn't not hurt... Don't know y. But I have not figured out how to take it out. Perhaps it will be painful. 1 mth's time then. Hee. I really started to LOVE myself. LOVE, here i come!!! (siao)

Oh, great news, grandaunt is awaked. I really hope she's getting better everyday. I just hope I can say 'I love you' to her. Really, though she's not my grandma, but I think she's really great. But in front of so many people, I dare not say it to her. I hope she can hear it from my heart.

Good nite.

all the 1st time...

Tire, and yet I wanna write somethings b4 i start snorinig...

So many of my first time took place today...

1. I did my manicure! I love the color so much. But i spoiled it accidentally while trying on a white short. stupid zip. (my nail is similar to the text color, but slightly darker)

2. I went for my navel piercing. Finally. Phew, it's really not painful. Believe me. The guy told me, "no swimming or water activities for 1 mth"... haha. no problem =)

3. I went to the icu dept at changi hospital. poor grandaunt. She must be suffering. But we all really wish that she could pull through.

4. First time tried the crispy mee jiang kueh with cheese flavour... hmmm, delicious. N the fried mars, not too bad. But not my preference.

Well, small shopping today, a new pair of heels @ $15 (so cheap!), and a bronze belt @ $15. Cool. But the navel piercing cost the most... haiz.. 75 bucks. Delvis just told me, he's working at the shop behind. He should have told me earlier. N I did thought of him today... chey.

My ctrl key button came off. Surprisingly, the customer service guy who called me, his name is Jason. Not another Jason. But he sounded great. I'm wondering how he looks like... hee

Yeown!!!!!!!

I just wanna write something!!! (sigh)

I really can't stand it. Even Pui Hong is facing such stupid guy, and that guy simply doesn't know how to react coz he's patching up with his ex. Well. I just got to see her blog coz this afternoon was smsing shiwei and she told me bout it. But I've already sensed something that was not very right before she highlighted this to me. PH likes him, and we can tell that he likes her, so.. why is her friendster's status still 'it's complicated' (that was a few days ago when I visit her friendster). I'm really not surprised of what shiwei had updated me. What surprises me was what Pui Hong has wrote in her new blog. It's really a long one. Haha, can fight with me liao. I'm a long-winded blogger wor. Ha

I'm really trying to get him off my mind these few days. It's terrible, coz the mind and the brain are not coordinating. I did my things slowly at work. Those guys, who knows what happened, sounded to me whether I'm alright. I'm just me. Like what I've describe myself earlier, I smile even if my heart is crying terribly. I just don't like the sensation. These few days, I've been thinking of resigning. But I won't do it so soon. I still got my things to do in the company. I've not get my promotion. I wanna prove to them that I'm good. Yet, my boss got no time for me. Worse, I got so mad after Theresa sent out the email on 'New appointment'. Why are there so many of them who work ard me get recognized? And me? It's just so fucking foolish of me to continue suffocating here? I hate those 'sai gang' task. Yet, I have to continue to carry onmy tasks, it's like nv ending. I requested for a laptop from Li Li. I guess she will put it aside and forget about it. Coz I'm just an assistant, I don't need one, I don't even need a namecard. Hey god, didn't u sound to me that my company is good? And why am I being treated so unfairly? Where are all the justice huh? All good things goes to the senior and the bad ones left for the junior. That's really ... Darn shit!. But thanks to Lan Feng. His questions pertaining to those who got promoted assure me that I'm really fortunate. Those who got promoted, in fact didn't get alot. But I guess Mr T., he got 'suan' by me until his quite embarrassed. I tell ya guys, nv dare to step on my tail. I will rot your reputation. I dare u... haha.

Mr D, came sitting down beside me during lunch. He makes me think that he's really a freak now. I'm really scare of him. Pardon me if I'm too sarcastic, but I really got quite offended by his action. He makes me feel like puking now. I didn't finished my lunch today. We didn't invite him to sit with us, Nancy was just signalling to him, "alone ah", and he came sitting down "thick-skinnedly"... I was just in the midst of my conversation to her. Shucks. I just don't like him to come so close to me. I'm really frighten. This guy really piss me off... If only that is Mr J, things will turn out very differently. But too bad, he's not acting like that to me huh. Perhaps, Mr J has the same thinking as me as in how I feel towards Mr D. Oh gosh. That is damn SAD ah! I'm really not a freak, I swear!

Hmmm... I dunlike to soar anymore. I want my LOVE!!!!

Goner.

Dunno y, I suddenly got a urge to find someone to talk to... let's see who's in my mind... Mr W, Shiwei, Ms M, Chris... Hmmm... those are the ones. I dunno la. I just feel like telling someone how I'm feeling now. But frankly, no one can understand the pain deep there.

I wished Edmund (Ye0) happy bday today. But his bday was yesterday. oops. Wateva. He seems... nicer to talk to, as compared to the past. With those 'thanks', 'take care' thingy... he sounded sweet. Perhaps coz he's not with Cindy now? So, he can flirt abit? haha. I dunno. But I do still remember how much I like him in the past, and how I get to know him from the start. Farni experience. But he is the only guy whom is so... nice, when he knows I like him. I told him in the msn chat that time. He was quite cool, n he apologised for the wrong impression he gave me. Nobody's @ fault, and no one is to be blame. It's just heaven that play us ard.

Let's take it EASY! (the most commonly used language in this century)

I'm meeting shiwei for a manicure this sat... heee... my 1st time. I'm looking fwd for that. And whether to proceed to the soccer match... I really dunno. Maybe I will give a miss. Or just drop by... since it's @ bedok this rd. I just hope Mr J stop showing that frustrating expression. I'm not there to see such things. chey~!

continue... the story of the day

I still wanna say...

I hate myself for loving you...

Today, I drove my dad's lorry, yeah! At last! That is damn cool loh. I'm good at controlling my legs and movement of the steering wheel ok (actually to say, it's my hands la!). Haha... the uncles were staring @ me... hahaha... so fun to drive on the lorry, with my P plates on... hahah... it's farni la.

We (I mean pap & ma & me) went visiting my grandaunty after the soccer match. She's better now. Guess what, I saw Rovin's gf... she's a nurse at Changi Hospital... cool. Such a coincidence, can see her @ same level.

MH smsed me today. We were sharing with each other bout the relationship with my ex-boss. Well, he's a understanding person. I hope people ard him can understand his situation too.

We went to eastpoint's Jack's place to look for auntie Mary. Her last day's tmr... so zun ah. Glad that at least I finally got to visit her @ her workplace. Am really glad to see her too. She looks so tire. Maybe that's y she's quitting. Good for her. She's really very nice.

Back to the incident this morning. Mr Derrick, he sees the picture of the 'blue'. He noted that I was quite sad. It's quite nice of him at times la. Just that he can't understand how youngster coop with relationship nowadays. Younger guys simply can't act correctly. They seems like the female, while we gurls behaves like the man who takes the lead/initiative. Forget it. Not worth for me to ponder of. I will find someone better.

Have a talk with Chrissie until 12am.We walked down to Mcdonald and got back. She came to my house, and quite impressed of the changed in my room. She likes it. K, she may not fully understand the whole story and based on my side of story only, but lending me a good listening ear has always been good. I really wish to give her a big hug, but i guess I'm stink la. haha. (I just took my shower, so no worry now)

Lastly, yesterday (in fact it's saturday), went out with Karin. Finally. We bought pretty lots of things. 2 tees, 1 dress, 1 bag, 1 fake eye lashes, a set of bra, a rasberry 'furpurchinno', 1 strawberry juice, mee siam, an amulet from the temple... woah... big grabbing of the day. And the interesting story, I was searching through for a pair of white pants, while Karin too, was flipping through the shorts and saw this black creature with the whiskles... kns... she really thought it was a design on the short. It's definitely not! Stupid cockroach. The sales aunty was so paranoid that she ran out of the store before me... hahah... cute sieh... But this young lady from the shop threw the cockroach out and will, kill it with the Bygone. Good one.

Then last Friday was mama's bday. I treated her a feast at Kao Kee restaurant. I like the ramian la. I've also bought a top form iora which I think is very nice. I love the vintage style.

Wow, seems like I just burned a hole in my pocket. Hope the pay day arrives faster!

Yewon. Thanks for reading.

The Loser. I hate his attitude.

This morning... I met up with the bunch of guy colleagues, they went down to Sengkeng for a soccer game. Well... I'm tagging along for the fun of it. Yes, Mr Derrick was right in the beginning, I was there to see him (Mr J). But turns out more of the unknown things became visible to me. First, Miss A & Mr K are together hand in hand. Wow... I'm the odd one there. I felt so lonely out of the spout. Weird. Y am I there in the frst place. Well... frankly, I nv focus on him too much. I was quite carried away by the match, and the PSP. We nv spoke, so did Mr F. Something was not right. He (Mr J) seems like avoiding something. He nv give me any eye contact. What's wrong?

Not that I know until I found out from Mr F that he's aggravated by the gossip. But I have nv been the one who spread those silly things! I'm a victim here too! Damn shit. Someone has inadvertently cause a silent dispute between the both of us. Wrong info convey to him, and causing him to think that I'm the one who announced it to the world that I like ihm. Hey, m I that insensible in the first place? I just keep things naturally, and hope that chances will hope by, and these ppl are saying until I'm that desperate... I'm definitely not this kinda person. Being single is lonely, but I still have my own dignity to carry out, y do I have to say this kinda 'ma lu' things... think I'm feeling good here? Ppl are just talking aloud, but didn't realise that they did no help. Ppl always says "Your fate is controlled by your own hand"... So do I get any rewarding outcome then? It always makes the 'him' thinks that I'm a big turn-off. it's really fucking hell out of my life. I hate it so much.

Worse part was, when I smsed Mr F if he could help as I'm sensing something was not right today, Mr F replied,"You are 2 fast 2 furious. Anyway, he told me that he has a steady target outside. He's quite pissed of the gossips" Ha, what a joke. The gossip or me? He's simply not interested or he's paranoid bout gossiping. Hey, to tell all of you the truth, I'm always the one suffering... I'm always involved in all 'single and available' guys, whom I don't think I suits anyone of them. SO I must say, Mr J is very lucky to have me liking him in the first place. Really feel like... Urgh!

I need a private time to talk to him. But I guess there won't be such chances. He's just a loser. He can't face the thruth and so he's avoiding huh? But for any reason, I really wanna apologise for any inconvenient cause to him. I'm nv happy too.

What if he really says, "Sorry, I'm not interested in you". Well, I simply take it and cry it off for the day. I'm ok with this kinda response. But there is always no such answer. This is damn f**king annoying. Y do this happens to me all the time. I have not get into a beautiful relationship. I just want a simple relationship. That's all. Worst part, my colleague is calling me a dinosaur now. This can really pissed me off.

Nobody I like that likes me too. I hate it.

How do guys see me?

Men See You As Desirable

Men often find you immediately attractive and sensual You're honesty is refreshingly beautiful ... it draws guys in You are also able to be open with your feelings with no emotional baggage Packing light means you enjoy new relationships easily

How Do Men See You?

Office rumours

Slpy, very slpy today. Coz of the show yesterday and still blogging @ 12+. Well... lifes like that, so boring.

Surprisingly, the guy (guy A) who cause the bump on my head asked me out for lunch. He sent me an email, which so happened that I just enter my outlook. Er... (already said he was quite a turn off for me). Well, not to reject his offer, I agreed. But I was hesitating whether to agree or not. Very hesitant. Coz I simply don't know what to talk to him if I were to meet up with him alone. He really frighten me. Scary!!!! Gosh. I dragged my lunch Khaki along. Well, it turns out to be more ppl, the merrier. During the lunch, my conversation was with my Khaki and the other guy (a vendor). Talking to them is really far much better than with him alone. We nv communicate much during the walk to the foodcourt and the lunch. Dah... simply communicationless. Haha. He (guy A) insisted on treating us... so we ordered the lime juice. I just wanna laugh it out when he was taking the order. It's just the 2 of us making order, and suddenly before he walks towards the stall, he stopped beside my female colleague and asked, "lime juice ah?"... he's so 'serious' and big expression in everything... big warning sign. Scary man. We bounced onto the guy (Guy B) whom I chatted overnite during the team building. That guy (Guy B) really cools me down. Phew. Nice seeing him. I will meet him for lunch one day.

I just hope that this guy A don't fall in love with this young lady here... she will run the next time she sees him! Godness... Uneasiness occupied every corner in my mind... yewk... luckily nv lunch alone with him... others might just think wrongly. I nv wants that to happen, I wish only with him (Guy C)...

This morning, just trying to look for another colleague at the other office, he (Guy C) picked up the call. It was pretty 'cold', but I'm quite cool this round on handling the conversation, to make it natural. He already knows who like him (and that's me), so it's really awkward. Let him cool down first. He should be matured enough to take this kinda 'blow' huh. Whatever, I'm going to see them play soccer this sunday. I will try to make an effort to talk to him. I guess certain things I really need to settle by my own, since I'm given the chance to. Wish me luck.

Good nitez.

Sunday & Monday

Sunday

Got many things done. Nearly drop dead. Bought my bookshelve from Ikea, and realised that it really make spaces for me. I'm really glad. I was really tired arranging my room, but I guess it's the most wonderful thing after my room gets no more messy again. Hurray =)


I went to Changi Hospital to visit my grandaunty. I really feel hurt to see her in this state. Minor stroke strikes her after she fell down last week at home. Her children thought that she's alright, but it shows that they were wrong. But she's really nice, I heard from mom & dad that she asked for me when they visited her last friday. Am really very touched. That's y I told myself I have to visit her. But she seems pretty tire, and not able to consume much food, and granduncle was really upset. I really felt sorry for both of them, n I sincerely hope everything will be okay.


I met up with Azhar. He got me my present. I've rode his bike, and he took me to a pond at somewhere near expo. We chat abit. The place is calm. I really felt peaceful there, but I wish it was the beach, coz I've always love the beach.

This is the present from Azhar. Thanks. I quite like it though it's quite boya, but i guess gurls really bring out the style of her. haha, girls power!



I love my new room. New mirror for me too. =)


Monday
Got to work again... what a boring day. Hmm, surprisingly, all the colleagues have heard the bump on my head... haha. I'm just wondering who's that. Me? I leak out the gas? I guess I was complaining to everyone I see asking me about how's my team building... haha, but it's really painful!

Hmmm... this guy colleague, keep teasing me, well, he makes me wanna go and watch them play soccer this Sunday. Haiz, my Sunday morning will be gone then, thought that I might be able to get up slightly later... just for the sake to see him... well.. let's hope that no one wants to come and pick me up... it's quite embarrassing actually. In fact, I wanna kick soccer too! Hee.

I met Chrissie for 'dinner'. Was her birthday yesterday. I've bought her a tube top, a pack of tin boxes and a photoframe stand... haha... just anyhow grab when I see them nice. She likes them. Great. I treated her movie too, it was actually my last yr's bday gift from JJ, well, she will treat me movie again next time =). She paid for my dinner, so it's fair, coz I seems to ate the most. Ha. I love talking to her.

Actually I sort of annoyed May. I guess she just can't understand my behaviour. She really takes things so seriously, and keep saying I'm childish. What's wrong being childish, and why take things so heartedly? It's really hurtful that she said these to me, whom I really treat her like my big sister. Well, I swear not to share with her anymore personal issues, since she can't practically take my joke. Hmm. Fine with me!

Dead tire now. Good nitez.

ENFPs - It's my character.

Btw, just to share a little from the team building course.

who am I?

ENFP: Extraverted Intuition with Introverted Feeling

It's quite true on the explanation part.

Here it says,

At their best
For people with ENFP preferences, life is a creative adventure full of exciting possibilities. ENFPs are keenly perceptive about people and insightful about the present and future. They experience a wide range of feelings and intense emotions. They need affirmation from others and readily give appreciation and support.
ENFPs are good at understanding how people and groups work and are persuasive and complling in pursuing what is important to them. They are adaptable, blooming where they are planted. Their enery and enthusiasm encourage others to bloom as well.

Characteristics of ENFPs
ENFPs are innovators, initiating projects and directing great energy into getting them under way. Using Intuition primarily externally, they find meaning and significance readily and see connections that others don't. They are likely to be
- curious, creative, and imaginative
- energtic, enthusiatic, and spontaneous

ENFPs value harmony and goodwill. They like to please others and will adapt to others' needs and wishes when possible. ENFPs primarily use Feeling internally, making decisions by applying values through identification and empathy with others. ENFPs are likely to br
- Warm, friendly, and caring
- Cooperative and supportive

ENFPs have exceptional insight into possibilities in others and the energy and motivation to help actualize them. They feel confident moving ahead based on their insights, and their enthusiam tends to bring others along with them.


So many to write... haha, all from a book... shhhh... copyright issue. Anyway, that's bout my character. I find it very true, as sometimes I find it quite hard to put things in word on how I feel about other, so through my action and behaviour, I think my friends will get to understand me better.

*Yeown*

Team building, dinner, mom & dad, Christina, & him

Ha... Let's begin with some memories back for the few days that I'm in...

Team building on 12 & 13th
well... wat's most enjoyable thing during the team building... u guys may be interested. Not the games nor the food... I'm not too into the both, coz team building to me was just a way to get out of work. Well, the most enjoyable time, I guess was 'sneaking' out of the resort (oh, btw, it's @ Orchid Country Club) after the billard and bowling session... not really sneaking out, coz it was our own free time, I guess. How should I put it, sneaking out coz my room mate keep talking none stop, neither will I get to slp nor will she stop talking, so my other guy colleague seems very nice and become my rescuer! We went out (@ bout 12 plus), on his van ride. Fun is the word. We had a good chat, abit on our life and most of it, the people @ our workplace. Not that I know of, he's actually married. Well, great for him, and good that he told me more bout the 'unknown' stuff in the office. Pretty surprise for that. But we really had a great time chatting, I would say, I preferred chatting with him than my roommate. Ha, both were toking bout company's politic, but very different opinion. Frankly speaking, I was really admiring him at the point of time he shared the things with me, of coz, that's just a sudden urge, I won't do anything silly, I promised =)

We continued to have some games on the 13th, chey, thought that I could have a good tan, but it ended up raining when both our outdoor games started (for 12th & 13th). Yah, I've got a bump on my forehead on the first day. Y? This silly partner of mine, each partner got to be blindfolded, and so happened that I started being blindfolded. He... quite a turn off for me, I guess la, not my type... well back to topic, he guided me through the path, and not that I knew that we were heading to the main door, guess he was peeking his head out of the door and didn't realise that I was heading straight to the door. n Hahaha, my head hit the side of the door. Ouch. Really a bump now. hate him so much. But he's very guilty, n we r told to be forgive and forget. Haiz. I got thot of taking my revenge, but i didn't do it. Almost, when we were sliding down, he nearly also got his head hitted. Haha. Everyone was accusing me that I was taking my revenge. Nah, I'm not that kind.

After team building program, we guys got off from the place @ 5.20pm. I had a hard time reaching home, bad timing. I've got a dinner appointment @ 7pm @ the intercontinient hotel. Rushed, and was told to wear nicely, coz we are meeting up with the MD and my GM. Hot. But i really dress nicely over. Something silly, guess I didn't hook my buttons on my levis' jean properly. 2 of the buttons went peeking out when I was seated on the bus heading to the interchange. GOsh. So embarrassing. Luckily there was a toilet @ theinterchange. Stomach wasn't good. But the buffet was great. It's at Olive Tree restaurant.

After the dinner, some of us headed to the bar.. do we call it a bar @ this bugis small street. Don't really know where we were, I think is the cane cafe. My colleague gave a treat to us, red wine. Hot. After that, we headed home. My another nice colleague, send me home first, so he paid for the taxi ride. How nice.

14th: Celebrating Dad & Mom's bday
Well, it wasn't their bday yesterday, but dad's on the 18th, n Mom on the 20th. We had an early celebration, our treat @ the sakura @ Tamp safra. Poor mama got swollen upper lip after the dinner. Not as nice as previous nite dinner, it's of coz not that nice, coz it's half price diff from last nite dinner wat!!! Very full. Dad's a little annoying. He said he thought of going to some chinese restaurant. Hmm! Gave him a scold, told him to provide suggestion and insist that we make the decision. He's always like that, giving us trouble. Dunlike him.

Anyway, I think I'm quite scared of food at this moment. Like eating none stop. But I seems to lose abit of weight. Thank god.

15th Apr: Christina's bday, going out with Azhar
I've got her something. Hope she like them.

I'm going out with Azhar ltr.. no idea where is he bringing me to. I'm quite scare of motor ride nowadays, coz hearing ppl saying how dangerous it it. And c0z I just got my driving licenses. Hmm, i wish I have a car now.

The guy that I like. Well... I sort of spread the rumour across the guys in my team building on the 13th, while having lunch with them. They were teasing me. Not that I wanna say I like him, u noe colleagues, they like to be match maker, so let them be. I'm here to tell them, and let them say it to him, "Jiemin like you, she's interested in you". Well, let's see how it goes for the next few weeks. Simply say, he already know that I like him, through the other colleague mouth. Dah!

Think I'm having a backache now, and very dry throat. It's so hot tonite. gosh.

Selfish Daddy

He doesn't know what I'm thinking... I mean my dad.

He's getting irritating and annoying everytime he preach. He blamed my mom for being lazy, he's nothing better.

He simply can't see us in his shoes. He cares only bout his thinking. He said bad things bout mom in front of her. He mocked @ me for being a messy girl. He insulted me for not being an organised person. Who say I'm not. I insisted that I'm not. Coz I found my stuff where I placed, though I'm pretty messy, and that's becoz I've got no time or mood to handle this minor things. Too much stuffs clouding up my mind. I hate him for not being understanding.

I cried.

He said he find himself guilty, for what? Coz he nv paid for my lappy, while he got those for bro last time. Who says he didn't pay a single cent. He paid for all my expenses when we were young. I find it good enough. I'm earning satisfactory for my living. I'm satisfied. He's not. He made me felt so miserable after he said those shit.

I cried again.

Why must he said those hurtful things in front of me. He's selfish. I hate him for not being understanding. He doesn't know how annoying he can be when he's at home. Yes, he's trying to be nice. Too nice until he exceed his limit. We can't stand him. Everything in the house he nv stop mentioning. He nv lose in an arguement. Coz he also think he's right. I admit that I'm untidy. That's becoz I'm in no mood nowadays. I get moody when I dun get things done nicely. I've too much thing in my mind that I want to settle. But I dun have the power to do them. I've fully disorganized now. I'm depressed a times too. Who knows it. I guess not many. Coz I'm always laughing around and nv be sad in front of the others, but that doesn't mean I'm fine. Laughter has always been the best concealer of sadness and loneliness.

I just want others to feel happy. I did complained to ppl ard me for my lousy work, but who can actually understand my need? I just want some challenge in my life. Same to the other half.

I've nv been into a real relationship, not because I dare not plunge in. It's the matter on the chemistry between us, the x-factor on him (that I'm looking for), the time and fate. I trust myself, yet I lost myself when I, when I start looking at the downside. I think I start losing my confidence. I dont know why. Coz I find my life boring? No more great entertainment? Or maybe I find myself not that fun anymore.. whatever.

I'm fat. I wanna loss many pounds so that I will cheer up. Depressed coz I'm plum while other gurls at my age should be slim n tender, oh yah, and ladylike (which I'm not at all) plus beautiful skin? Yes, I'm jealous of them. Coz they are pretty. They caught so many eyes of other guys. Wat bout me? My colleagues laugh at me that I'm fat. I'm hurt, yet I've to carry on fooling with them. I've got to take in whatever I'm being called. Lousy them. Who ask me to stay there then. Coz of the conveniency and pay. But no life. Bored.

Can anyone just understand abit how I feel, by saying, "I know how you feel". No one said that to me before. Terrible. Seems like I'm always the one who said that to my friends huh. I'm a good friend, don't I. Ha.

I've stop crying. My eyes are sored now.

License. I've got u.

I've got my class 3B motocar license.

Thanks god.
Thanks Mr Eng.

My first diary on this new laptop

(I copied n pasted into the blog coz there wasn't any internet connection at the point of time...)

This is my very first document for this laptop. Guess I got to find my software to download the Microsoft office. But I love these keyboard… this is damn cool…!!! But the internet connection don’t seems to be up yet… =( hope I can solve this problem soon!

What a tiring day… I met Saad just now. We chat a lot… maybe it’s because I’ve not seen my friends for long… need someone to ‘release’ my … annoyance.
Azhar sms me just now. He can see how frustrated or maybe not such a strong word… annoying…I am. True. But to save this awkward friendship, I have to be liar… I simply can’t help it. I have to say, I don’t like him to ask me so much, that’s because I don’t find a need for that. Simply says, he’s not my cup of tea. I told Saad, maybe he’s my cup of milo (the kind of guys to fool ard or crap along…) Ha
I’m just tire. TIRE!


11.07pm, 15 Mar 2007.

That's all for tonite!

Your Love Type: INFP

The Idealist In love, you crave a long term, harmonious relationship. For you, sex doesn't come quickly - it takes time for you to open up. Overall, you are supportive, nurturing, and expressive. However, you tend to be shy and protective of your personal space. Best matches: ENFJ and ESFJ

What's Your Love Type?

quite true =)

You Are 69% Sexy

Your Sex Appeal Is: Extremely High You're very sexy. You just have that certain something that takes over a room. You know how to attract, entice, and keep whoever you want. You are truly appealing.

How Much Sex Appeal Do You Have?

I agree that!

You Are 53% Angry

Generally, you are not an angry person. But you're easily frustrated and enraged. You have one heck of a temper. And because of your anger, you tend to feel resentful and even spiteful. You already know how to quell your anger. You just need to do it more often.

How Angry Are You?

Getting quite true!

Your Lust Quotient: 38%

You are a fairly lustful person, but nothing out of the norm. You usually keep your lust under control, but sometimes it gets the better of you.

How Much Lust Do You Have?

maybe that's right!

my palm tells sth...

What Your Hands Say About You

You are artistic, intuitive, and inspired. You have good people skills. Flexible and broad minded, you can fit in to any situation. There's no telling where your life will take you. Consistent and reliable, you like to count on structure and routine in your life. Your emotions tend to be relaxed and uncomplicated. You don't read too much into things.

What Do Your Hands Say About You?

The kind of love u will expect from me...

Your Love Style is Ludus

You like to think of love as the ultimate game And you love to play... even if it means lying a little You're a bit afraid to be close, and you don't get too attached A serial dater, you tend to date a few people at once And it's all good, until one of your sweeties finds out!

What's Your Love Style?

Depress level

Your Depression Level: 52%

You seem to have mild depression. A lot of people fall into your range, and it's quite possible you don't need treatment. If you've been feeling this way for a while, you may want to seek help.

Are You Depressed?

Everything at a go!

Sometimes I thinking... Trying hard to fulfill my dreams.. and what's my dream? To get my dream car, dream house, to make money? To have a happy family?

Looking @ the people ard me... I'm starting to feel that I'm fortunate. I pity those who are just trying too hard to make it big... why torture themselves to achieve something (like fame?) I would rather be myself. Look @ my superior... she trying too hard for everything.. she make me miserable... she's slow in everything, and yet she wanna learn everything at a go...she took off on Mon and Tue and coz me not to take leave on Mon and Tue. I hate this kinda behaviour. I'm force to do something that I'm not willing to bother. They are playing me upside down. One making me feel as if I'm great, and the other side stopping me from joining the fun. Sucks. Hell them off.

I trying hard to change my attitude. Very hard. I smile even if I'm not in the mood. I stop my tears when I vending my anger. I tried my very best to do things that I disliike. Even my character. The passive and self-confidence me is gone. I no longer like the foolish and brainless me. I think thrice b4 acting. yes. That's the new me. I'm planning every step I'm doing. I hate that. Where's the carefree me. My colleagues are saying that I live like my job now. Everything I do are so systematic now. Every single thing I also ask in detail. I'm not that busybody afterall, but it becomes my trademark now. I don't like the way I am now.

I think I've some problem with my health now. The skin is very bad. The legs are scarred and ugly. I don't know what to do with it. My face, blemishes all over. I can't stop breaking out the whiteheads and pimples.. (urgh... irritating). I want the nice me. I wan to sun tan. Guess what... the last tym I went to the swimming pool was last July till now? I seems like dare not wear bikini anymore. I'm afraid that ppl are looking at my scars. But I don't care. I really wanna swim and grow thinner. Please help me.

My so call planned business. It's not starting. coz I do not know how to start it off. ebay? I guess so. But I have no time for it, I'm now preparing to get a new laptop. Scrap off my electon that's with me for 16 yrs. The big pc that I'm using. To be given to dad. I need to re-create my new Jminz' room. I wan a nice and lovely room b4 I can even start anything. Hope the time is enuff as what I've planned.

Dream on... I thinking of him now. every now and then. Again. The infatuation feeling is here again. I'm like hibernating again. haiz...
This round, this guy is from my company. Not going to say who is he as it doesn't matter. I like him. From the first sight indeed. Truth enough, he's another prince charming. But base on the way he looks and dress... he's my type of coffee. But I guess... I'm gonna be disappointed again. Coz he's such a charming guy. How would I stand a chance... furthermore, I'm quite demoralized with my look now. Sad case.

Regards,
Jminz.

Wow, wow, wow... din't realise I stop blogging for so long... well... didn't have the mood to blog for the past few months, everyday's like work, eat, slp... no life... dead bored...

Part of the reason for coming back to blog is coz, I've been into some interest... making accessories, i.e. earrings and necklace... so... decided to come online and see what I can do... well, designs are not ready yet... so perhaps some times more b4 I start to create another blog to start my small business =)

Nice?