Self-entertaining...

my phone's button spoil!!!! argh.. less than a month only u noe... muz faster send down for repair.. who noes i can get a new phone? :( veri sad...

haiz... i wanna go for holiday... but i got no $$$.. tell me where can earn more bucks? tell me pls...

think i put on weight again! argh! annoying! irritating. Bad skin again... wah... y all the bad stuff approach me... SHOO!!! go away! I wan some luck!. Faster slim down so that my Mr Q will come soon... woahahah

*I'm self entertaining myself. Just let me be.* Thanks.

Family Day

Hey yah!!! Today's weather is really GREAT! I love the sun! n my first ride on the Jet Ski, the keel boat, and last but not least... THE BANANA BOAT! Omg!!! I love the sea sport! Thanks to the weather, now I'm pretty tan now. Love the color of my skin.. N I sold 1 pair of earrings during the flea market (which I ended up playing banana boat n my colleagues help me to sell my stuff.. lol)

but... the stomach still very fair lei.. haiz.. my navel piercing... turning bad... jialat. Any idea how to reduce scarring? It's pretty ugly now... godness. It has been like 7 months already.. but the scar is still there, n worse, the piercing goes the wrong direction... how ah? release n repierce? or let the scar heal? or stay put? :( someone pls help me... sometime it hurts u noe...

N yah, yesterday went down to DXO... not good. Food not nice also. I think today's buffet taste better. But i still hangover... haha, coz it's free flow of drink... but too bad, the place wasn't fun... so i got a prob of continuing when i got tire. Should have went down to zouk right... haiz...

Tah-rah~

Guess what, yesterday I went for my first KTV session (oh, should be 2 days ago... coz it's 12.41am, 30 Oct now)... hahaha, it's fun. I had my maraton singing session from 11am to 2pm, almost non-stop. I quite like to sing there, n surprisingly, Mr Toh got a great voice. Next time can jio him out for singing liao. N coincidentally, I met Hong Jie when I reached somerset, way abit early for my KTV session, coz too long nv drop by to town, forgotten the timing for travelling from Tampines to Orchard... haha.. so we actually met after my singing session n had her lunch together. Then we went down to look for Chris @ her shop. Well. We went for a 2nd lunch. I'm just filled with excitement, and with the songs runnin throu' my head whereever I go... I love singing! haha. Glad that I didn't spend a buck on clothes yesterday... perhaps I didn't bring my shopping mood along la! Coz I was getting ready for my new PDA phone... I think I should be getting it soon! Yeepee!!!

Then today... dunno why so busy... arranging this n that, updating my boss things, check this check that... super tiring. Only fulfillment today... I saw this handsome chap @ level 8... guess he's an intern there. Good to see cute young guy (Finally lo!) in the company. Guess he'll be there awhile la, coz HRD didn't send out any email on new staff (as in him la), so prob he wun be here for too long... always see him & 2 other of his friend walking ard.. so shiok. I'm thinking of boys again... Haiyoh!
Bad sign, bad sign...

OH... I'm being opt for the communal committee in my company.. stupid thing... but I just enjoy doing these... to kill my time in office, n also giving excuses to surf the net la... lol! Guess we going to racky the place (DXO) next week! Yeepee!!! I need a good break!!! I miss clubbing~ :)

Haiz, tmr got meeting again. Sian.. my report is not done yet. Haiz... pls spare me some air!!!!

Just a quick one

So many things come and pass by my times... time really flies.
First I've got promoted,
Next my colleagues got married,
then I catching up with my buddies,
coming one is the thorough healthcheck
while the on-going ones are I've been trying to keep fit, plus learning rollerblade from scratch and bought a new part of rollerblade!

Guess what comes next? Yes, my hp contract is ending soon, so I'm gonna get a new phone soon! But right now I'm just worry bout my expenses for the coming months. I wanna study, wanna put braces... blah blah blah! Shit.. soo many things queueing to take their turn in the couple of months... Can I have more $$$ ? Yes... annual bonus coming too! (Yeah.. I'm waiting very HARD! and my tongue's dropping!!!) I'm targetting to get the Atom Life from O2... The one white in color looks so cool! Gosh... I can't wait for my hp contract to end!!! God! Y am I so greedy! Damn it. I need to control my fingers from getting burn. Ouch!

Help me mom... I really need that money... :(

No love life now. Boring topic.

Good nite.

Not another year...

WOw... what a fast week. But I'm glad, I have turned 22 already! Don't really know how to describe the feeling... hmmm.. it's just peaceful and a quiet one. I like the kinda feeling. One thing sad was that I actually planned to go Sentosa on that day, but bad sky tricked me... it rained and dark clouds formed for the whole morning (it was later bright and sunny in the afternoon! Goodness!) and so our (both Saad & myself) beach outting was ruined. What a waste!!!! Eeeekkkk... she purposely take her off day to accompany me, and yet the stupid weather... hmmm... But really appreciate her company (and a pretty card & photo frame from her), we were spending the day at movie, food, spotlight and daiso ... a fulfulment day though. Thought perhaps I could get the sun the next day, so went down to swim in the morning... who knows, again it was a very cloudy day... hmmmm I want to SUNTAN!!!! But thart day got an earthquake strikes in Indonesia. Pretty scary, I do feel the shake when I was in the pool, I'm not bluffing!

Thursday, I met up with my gang (Shiwei, Jason & Hong Jie).. we went down to Bugis for steamboat. The food was not really nice, but we have a fun time chit-chatting. Best of all, the present, though not something which I most wanted, but it's not too bad afterall. The Eclat D'aepege Lavin Perfume & a forever friends' jewellery box. Must have cost them pretty much. Thanks to them (especially to my sweetie-Shiwei)

I'm pretty gladful that many friends and colleagues remember my bday. This shows that I'm being remembered, don't u think so too? I've received many greetings from them.. Really thanks to them all. N of coz my family, we had went to Sakae Sushi for a big feast last Saturday (I'm really statisfied with the meal.. haha)

Then today, the roller bladding class supposed to start today, but stupid sky keep drizzling in the morning, so got to cancel again... what the hell... Please grant us a great day next Sunday (God, I'm really praying hard for a blue sky! Please grant my wish...)

Today went visiting grandaunt, she looks pretty well. I like her to be cheerful.

Haiz, tmr got to work again, not another long week... How long do u think I can hold onto this job? I really dunno... I'm really so BORE over here. I want a change... go study? or better job? I hope for both :) Nonetheless, I do hope for a good love path coming ahead. Please grant my wishes!!!!

~I said "I want a good life". ~
+Peace+

Hi, I'm back again

I CUT my HAIR!
whoo woo... Really cool! I like the style pretty much. But best of all, i feel Fresh... and peace.

I dun know what really trigger me to go for the haircut... perhaps... I just need a break. But my dream of getting long hair that reaches my waistline should be getting further.. haiz... Whatever. What is gone has gone! Yeap...

Believe me? I start to find myself back. Like? I see people ard me (my nice pals) leaving the company... one after another.. I was up and down, up and down... and looking myself in the mirror everyday... I'm always so worry, and so aimless. But now, I decided, I should plan further, regardless to my career path, my life goal... Haha... here I come... I will work towards u!

No boyfriend, no money, no fun, no excitement, no good talking khakis in the company... it's really miserable. At least they (those who have left or leaving soon) have goal. They told me, leave the company then... But what bother me the most - the bonus? Or my responsibility to the company? Not to say, of course the latter. Coz everyone knows how lousy the company pays me. Then GO! I told everyone, yes, I will. I've set my aim that I will take my first half v.b, then hack care and go. What bout the remaining? No... probably not, unless the company promote me? "Tan gu jiu wu lo" (wait long will have - in hokkien). Haiz.

Someone whom I've been talking bout in the past blogs... well... that was part of the reason why I still tangling in the company till now... I've been lying to myself that opportunity will come, just trust myself. Perhaps, I'm just being over-confident. If there is really feeling in him, there wouldn't be such a hassle. Haa. Silly me. Think i watch too much show (花样少年少女is really nice!!! I'm so envy of the couple) Whatever that I'm suppose to do has also been done. I've no much worry. I know what is call love - holding too tight might not be the only way, and will never works. Letting go may be a better way of looking forward to the future. I believe that the right person is not far from me... so please dun let me wait too long~ (haha... I"m talking to you, god)

THANKS to all my friends that lend me your listening ears (whether you are reading these or not). Why thanks you? Coz lending me your ears for me to nag has always been great. I love you pals! (I might be too carried away, but I'm really expressing every things from deep down... gee*)

what have happened?

is god playing me like a fool?
y is there such a coincident?
i just got to let things go off bits by bits, and coming to the very last...

y does he appear right in front of me at such place, such timing?

didn't we just got a a tiff over the net? I thought that should be the end. No more talks btw us.

everything just swing and go so fast... proof! Perhaps I really tink too much. if only i could take things slowly by the pace, we shouldn't have ended up in such a situation. I din't even get the chance to have a chat with him. hmmm... did i really over react then that has cause wat happen as at today? I did try to cool down, but it seems like I'm looking things more from my angle. I dun wish for the state like this, if I noe, I wouldn't have acted so impulsive. Form of regret? haha, I guess so. Maybe, just like the old ones say, "有缘千里一定会再见，无缘的话，怎么强求都不会有幸福的。 只但愿一切是个梦，梦醒了一切又是美丽的。"

I just wish that my dreams would have come true one very fine day. God, may I?
- Jmin

Ruined Face!

So regret to proceed with the soft-rebonding...

Haiz... my intention was to trim off the straight rebonded areas only ma... and now, not only that my hair is so flat, which I should have got it perm instead... and now my face... ruined by the chemical. Full of rashes all over my face... Feeling so disgusted now. The rashes are damn itch! Hell them... stupid doctor even insist that it is acne problem and says my skin is just overly prone to acne... Oh come'on la... don't my description to her is prominient enough? I said the rashes came out only yesterday and was due to my rebonding... but she insist that it is acne and convince me to get some medication called the 'iso...." err.. i can't remember the name. And no cream for me! No cream?! they are so itch man... I almost scratched off my face siah... n I'm on 1 day mc of course. But I still got to go out with this ugly face to work tmr... sian... can't put any make-up! Just 2 words to describe - untolerent and HORRIBLE! Hope it recovers soon...

Sob sob

Freedom has just blossomed

Right after I mentioned that I will not talk bout him to any of my colleagues in my last blog, I had a serious thought, thinking whether that am I being overly sensitive, or I'd just lost my judgement right at the start. Whatever is it, I had decided to wrote to him via the forum, which I guess is the only channel that acts the most appropriate one between him n me.

Not too sure whether he understands where I'm getting to, I just clarified with him what was deep in my thoughts. It would have been better if I had said it way before this havoc runs a wild, but I guess it wasn't too late to make my clarity. Afterall, what was right or wrong were already been committed. It's too late to even say "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it" and things like that.

It was really a total release after writting to him, thinking that he should have read the message by now. It was tiring, coz I did spend alot of thoughts to make him get to the point. Though tire, but at least I'm not being mentally pestered by this anymore.

I begin to feel that my freedom has return to my world. I will look forward for my every new day from now.

Hugs, Jminz.

I've dumped him out of my mind!

Friday, was a busy day for me. Tremendously tire for both physical & mental. MAS Inspection. haiz... follow by debrief after the meetings. I haven't got any good rest for the days... writting and writting notes... I hate it so much, coz I don't even know what I'm writting. Comes to thinking of the notes, though I've brought them home, I've not touch them... haha... guess I will not touch them already. Will bring it back to work tmr... happy typing. And I've a tease during the debrief. Very mah lu.. but the MD apologised to me, coz he was the one who cause me laughed by the rest. Well, I was quite speechless when I found chance to interrupt n tried to tell the rest that the inspectors are very confused with our organisational structure. Maybe next time just tell them the key point. Let them ask only if they want to know more. It's really.. KNS la!

Mr W, such a coincident for the day. Met him at the lift while rushing back to my 2nd floor office to put down my stuff n then meet up my lunch khaki for the day, Cristine (coz I was very late), then happily went into Long John Silver to realise that he's having lunch there too. Y say coincident? Coz I'm meeting him for dinner ma! Alamak. He's a nice guy to chat with la. But... hmmm... what word should I use to describe him. In a way a very chatty guy, sensible but insensible at times, playful but matured in the way of reacting to thoughts... hmmm... 'in between' of every extreme. Just a balance mind. Good. I'm wondering if his wife is doubting who he was with till so late (Opps!)... haha... we went to Changi Airport, coz it seems like that is the only place which opens 24hr. I owed him an ice cream ma, but I got 2 treats (i.e. Popeye + Sakae Sushi) from him that day... so it means i still gain profit la. haha. (sound so aunty ah).

We bounced on the new guys from office after our lunch, these new guys includes Mr J. I didn't look at him nor wave to him (which I always did so). I simply find myself very pissed off when I see him. Till now, I still find myself so agitated. Coz I just went to the soccer forum... so happen to click on the topic for attendance for every of their soccer match. I realised he didn 't put my name in for the 'guest appearance'. He's such a bitch (I'm out of word... though Bitch is for ladies...But I really can't think of other words now). U guys think my attendance was for fun? hey, i'm not there to look at him in the first place. I know it's silly to explain at this point of time, but definitely there was other reason why I was there that day. He thinks he's that good huh? Shit. Derrick asked me if I will be going for their today's training. I told him I've got something on. Well, I've given him up. Simply no way out now. A big cross on his face. Frankly speaking, I've nv been so furious for a decade. I can't stand guys who are so petty. Yah, petty is the word. Of course, I'm not being over-sensitive here. perhaps, jealousy? Who cares. Him n I fall out. A big NO, it states No MORE. I've got enough. Mr W advised me to write to him. He said maybe those misunderstanding had just popup simply due to the busybodies, which lead to the big havoc today. Before going to the forum, I did thought of that. But now, NO is the definite answer. I'm not going to talk about him to any other colleagues anymore. One BIG Full-stop.

Phew, I suddenly felt a release . The stone has just fallen off... but seems like my stomach is growling, not sure is it mean for a poo-poo or a crave for food. Ha! Bad appetite for these few days. N the hot weather is back again. I'm 'craving' for my swim at the beach n pool, but surely got to give them a miss, coz my navel has yet to recover... hmmm, guess my fats too thick, the wound is not breathing la... a little redness. Hope it's recovering soon. But I just don't feel any pain... skin is damn thick siah. Haha.

Today, I earned another 45 bucks for a stupid computer lesson. But still one word - Satisfactory. Now got another thing to worry about. The insurance. Hmm... not saying it anymore.

Yesterday I went to visit grandaunty, I can't hold back my tears when granduncle tried to console her, touching her hand and talking to her. I'm so touched of the scene. N grandpa, got hospitalized. Again. He said he's giddy... hmmm... he should be fine la. I think he needs more... Exercise. Old people... always got to face health problems. So scary. How I wish I'm not facing any of these when I'm old. I've been thinking of my family and kids... haha... I suddenly feel like wanting to be a mom... I don't know y la. Just got a thought of it. It's a heavenly feeling when u think about ur future. Hee. Sweet.

(Last one) Pa said he's going to India to work for 2 yrs. I told ma to let him go n work, coz he's kinda naggy when he's at home. I jokingly told him, 2 yrs ltr when he's back, he will see me huddle to my boyfriend... haha. I wish to.

Happy day!

Am I away from the actual time? I seems to... looking at the past few blogs, I mentioned 'today', but those things were happening on 'yesterday'... hahah... whatever.

Today, crazy shopping with Shiwei. I promised her I will slp earlier, coz tmr MAS inspectors will be visiting... gosh... I need to rest soon, but I'm so excited over my newly bought clothes... I just couldn't wait to wear it tmr... I don't care whether it's dirty... I really like the shirt & the shoes.. =) it's Shiwei's last day @ DBS tmr... happy 4 her. We both got almost the same tops... but we tried to avoid clashing with one another, ended up only one of them is the same. Hee.. Smart shopping.

Today, I've got another 3 tops... the isetan & the metro sales... haha... i really love the sales... Mom complaining that I'm buying too much.. (as usual la), but I'm happy, so I can't be bothered!

Frankly speaking, my navel doesn't not hurt... Don't know y. But I have not figured out how to take it out. Perhaps it will be painful. 1 mth's time then. Hee. I really started to LOVE myself. LOVE, here i come!!! (siao)

Oh, great news, grandaunt is awaked. I really hope she's getting better everyday. I just hope I can say 'I love you' to her. Really, though she's not my grandma, but I think she's really great. But in front of so many people, I dare not say it to her. I hope she can hear it from my heart.

Good nite.

all the 1st time...

Tire, and yet I wanna write somethings b4 i start snorinig...

So many of my first time took place today...

1. I did my manicure! I love the color so much. But i spoiled it accidentally while trying on a white short. stupid zip. (my nail is similar to the text color, but slightly darker)

2. I went for my navel piercing. Finally. Phew, it's really not painful. Believe me. The guy told me, "no swimming or water activities for 1 mth"... haha. no problem =)

3. I went to the icu dept at changi hospital. poor grandaunt. She must be suffering. But we all really wish that she could pull through.

4. First time tried the crispy mee jiang kueh with cheese flavour... hmmm, delicious. N the fried mars, not too bad. But not my preference.

Well, small shopping today, a new pair of heels @ $15 (so cheap!), and a bronze belt @ $15. Cool. But the navel piercing cost the most... haiz.. 75 bucks. Delvis just told me, he's working at the shop behind. He should have told me earlier. N I did thought of him today... chey.

My ctrl key button came off. Surprisingly, the customer service guy who called me, his name is Jason. Not another Jason. But he sounded great. I'm wondering how he looks like... hee

Yeown!!!!!!!

I just wanna write something!!! (sigh)

I really can't stand it. Even Pui Hong is facing such stupid guy, and that guy simply doesn't know how to react coz he's patching up with his ex. Well. I just got to see her blog coz this afternoon was smsing shiwei and she told me bout it. But I've already sensed something that was not very right before she highlighted this to me. PH likes him, and we can tell that he likes her, so.. why is her friendster's status still 'it's complicated' (that was a few days ago when I visit her friendster). I'm really not surprised of what shiwei had updated me. What surprises me was what Pui Hong has wrote in her new blog. It's really a long one. Haha, can fight with me liao. I'm a long-winded blogger wor. Ha

I'm really trying to get him off my mind these few days. It's terrible, coz the mind and the brain are not coordinating. I did my things slowly at work. Those guys, who knows what happened, sounded to me whether I'm alright. I'm just me. Like what I've describe myself earlier, I smile even if my heart is crying terribly. I just don't like the sensation. These few days, I've been thinking of resigning. But I won't do it so soon. I still got my things to do in the company. I've not get my promotion. I wanna prove to them that I'm good. Yet, my boss got no time for me. Worse, I got so mad after Theresa sent out the email on 'New appointment'. Why are there so many of them who work ard me get recognized? And me? It's just so fucking foolish of me to continue suffocating here? I hate those 'sai gang' task. Yet, I have to continue to carry onmy tasks, it's like nv ending. I requested for a laptop from Li Li. I guess she will put it aside and forget about it. Coz I'm just an assistant, I don't need one, I don't even need a namecard. Hey god, didn't u sound to me that my company is good? And why am I being treated so unfairly? Where are all the justice huh? All good things goes to the senior and the bad ones left for the junior. That's really ... Darn shit!. But thanks to Lan Feng. His questions pertaining to those who got promoted assure me that I'm really fortunate. Those who got promoted, in fact didn't get alot. But I guess Mr T., he got 'suan' by me until his quite embarrassed. I tell ya guys, nv dare to step on my tail. I will rot your reputation. I dare u... haha.

Mr D, came sitting down beside me during lunch. He makes me think that he's really a freak now. I'm really scare of him. Pardon me if I'm too sarcastic, but I really got quite offended by his action. He makes me feel like puking now. I didn't finished my lunch today. We didn't invite him to sit with us, Nancy was just signalling to him, "alone ah", and he came sitting down "thick-skinnedly"... I was just in the midst of my conversation to her. Shucks. I just don't like him to come so close to me. I'm really frighten. This guy really piss me off... If only that is Mr J, things will turn out very differently. But too bad, he's not acting like that to me huh. Perhaps, Mr J has the same thinking as me as in how I feel towards Mr D. Oh gosh. That is damn SAD ah! I'm really not a freak, I swear!

Hmmm... I dunlike to soar anymore. I want my LOVE!!!!

Goner.

Dunno y, I suddenly got a urge to find someone to talk to... let's see who's in my mind... Mr W, Shiwei, Ms M, Chris... Hmmm... those are the ones. I dunno la. I just feel like telling someone how I'm feeling now. But frankly, no one can understand the pain deep there.

I wished Edmund (Ye0) happy bday today. But his bday was yesterday. oops. Wateva. He seems... nicer to talk to, as compared to the past. With those 'thanks', 'take care' thingy... he sounded sweet. Perhaps coz he's not with Cindy now? So, he can flirt abit? haha. I dunno. But I do still remember how much I like him in the past, and how I get to know him from the start. Farni experience. But he is the only guy whom is so... nice, when he knows I like him. I told him in the msn chat that time. He was quite cool, n he apologised for the wrong impression he gave me. Nobody's @ fault, and no one is to be blame. It's just heaven that play us ard.

Let's take it EASY! (the most commonly used language in this century)

I'm meeting shiwei for a manicure this sat... heee... my 1st time. I'm looking fwd for that. And whether to proceed to the soccer match... I really dunno. Maybe I will give a miss. Or just drop by... since it's @ bedok this rd. I just hope Mr J stop showing that frustrating expression. I'm not there to see such things. chey~!

continue... the story of the day

I still wanna say...

I hate myself for loving you...

Today, I drove my dad's lorry, yeah! At last! That is damn cool loh. I'm good at controlling my legs and movement of the steering wheel ok (actually to say, it's my hands la!). Haha... the uncles were staring @ me... hahaha... so fun to drive on the lorry, with my P plates on... hahah... it's farni la.

We (I mean pap & ma & me) went visiting my grandaunty after the soccer match. She's better now. Guess what, I saw Rovin's gf... she's a nurse at Changi Hospital... cool. Such a coincidence, can see her @ same level.

MH smsed me today. We were sharing with each other bout the relationship with my ex-boss. Well, he's a understanding person. I hope people ard him can understand his situation too.

We went to eastpoint's Jack's place to look for auntie Mary. Her last day's tmr... so zun ah. Glad that at least I finally got to visit her @ her workplace. Am really glad to see her too. She looks so tire. Maybe that's y she's quitting. Good for her. She's really very nice.

Back to the incident this morning. Mr Derrick, he sees the picture of the 'blue'. He noted that I was quite sad. It's quite nice of him at times la. Just that he can't understand how youngster coop with relationship nowadays. Younger guys simply can't act correctly. They seems like the female, while we gurls behaves like the man who takes the lead/initiative. Forget it. Not worth for me to ponder of. I will find someone better.

Have a talk with Chrissie until 12am.We walked down to Mcdonald and got back. She came to my house, and quite impressed of the changed in my room. She likes it. K, she may not fully understand the whole story and based on my side of story only, but lending me a good listening ear has always been good. I really wish to give her a big hug, but i guess I'm stink la. haha. (I just took my shower, so no worry now)

Lastly, yesterday (in fact it's saturday), went out with Karin. Finally. We bought pretty lots of things. 2 tees, 1 dress, 1 bag, 1 fake eye lashes, a set of bra, a rasberry 'furpurchinno', 1 strawberry juice, mee siam, an amulet from the temple... woah... big grabbing of the day. And the interesting story, I was searching through for a pair of white pants, while Karin too, was flipping through the shorts and saw this black creature with the whiskles... kns... she really thought it was a design on the short. It's definitely not! Stupid cockroach. The sales aunty was so paranoid that she ran out of the store before me... hahah... cute sieh... But this young lady from the shop threw the cockroach out and will, kill it with the Bygone. Good one.

Then last Friday was mama's bday. I treated her a feast at Kao Kee restaurant. I like the ramian la. I've also bought a top form iora which I think is very nice. I love the vintage style.

Wow, seems like I just burned a hole in my pocket. Hope the pay day arrives faster!

Yewon. Thanks for reading.

The Loser. I hate his attitude.

This morning... I met up with the bunch of guy colleagues, they went down to Sengkeng for a soccer game. Well... I'm tagging along for the fun of it. Yes, Mr Derrick was right in the beginning, I was there to see him (Mr J). But turns out more of the unknown things became visible to me. First, Miss A & Mr K are together hand in hand. Wow... I'm the odd one there. I felt so lonely out of the spout. Weird. Y am I there in the frst place. Well... frankly, I nv focus on him too much. I was quite carried away by the match, and the PSP. We nv spoke, so did Mr F. Something was not right. He (Mr J) seems like avoiding something. He nv give me any eye contact. What's wrong?

Not that I know until I found out from Mr F that he's aggravated by the gossip. But I have nv been the one who spread those silly things! I'm a victim here too! Damn shit. Someone has inadvertently cause a silent dispute between the both of us. Wrong info convey to him, and causing him to think that I'm the one who announced it to the world that I like ihm. Hey, m I that insensible in the first place? I just keep things naturally, and hope that chances will hope by, and these ppl are saying until I'm that desperate... I'm definitely not this kinda person. Being single is lonely, but I still have my own dignity to carry out, y do I have to say this kinda 'ma lu' things... think I'm feeling good here? Ppl are just talking aloud, but didn't realise that they did no help. Ppl always says "Your fate is controlled by your own hand"... So do I get any rewarding outcome then? It always makes the 'him' thinks that I'm a big turn-off. it's really fucking hell out of my life. I hate it so much.

Worse part was, when I smsed Mr F if he could help as I'm sensing something was not right today, Mr F replied,"You are 2 fast 2 furious. Anyway, he told me that he has a steady target outside. He's quite pissed of the gossips" Ha, what a joke. The gossip or me? He's simply not interested or he's paranoid bout gossiping. Hey, to tell all of you the truth, I'm always the one suffering... I'm always involved in all 'single and available' guys, whom I don't think I suits anyone of them. SO I must say, Mr J is very lucky to have me liking him in the first place. Really feel like... Urgh!

I need a private time to talk to him. But I guess there won't be such chances. He's just a loser. He can't face the thruth and so he's avoiding huh? But for any reason, I really wanna apologise for any inconvenient cause to him. I'm nv happy too.

What if he really says, "Sorry, I'm not interested in you". Well, I simply take it and cry it off for the day. I'm ok with this kinda response. But there is always no such answer. This is damn f**king annoying. Y do this happens to me all the time. I have not get into a beautiful relationship. I just want a simple relationship. That's all. Worst part, my colleague is calling me a dinosaur now. This can really pissed me off.

Nobody I like that likes me too. I hate it.

How do guys see me?

Men See You As Desirable

Men often find you immediately attractive and sensual You're honesty is refreshingly beautiful ... it draws guys in You are also able to be open with your feelings with no emotional baggage Packing light means you enjoy new relationships easily

How Do Men See You?

Office rumours

Slpy, very slpy today. Coz of the show yesterday and still blogging @ 12+. Well... lifes like that, so boring.

Surprisingly, the guy (guy A) who cause the bump on my head asked me out for lunch. He sent me an email, which so happened that I just enter my outlook. Er... (already said he was quite a turn off for me). Well, not to reject his offer, I agreed. But I was hesitating whether to agree or not. Very hesitant. Coz I simply don't know what to talk to him if I were to meet up with him alone. He really frighten me. Scary!!!! Gosh. I dragged my lunch Khaki along. Well, it turns out to be more ppl, the merrier. During the lunch, my conversation was with my Khaki and the other guy (a vendor). Talking to them is really far much better than with him alone. We nv communicate much during the walk to the foodcourt and the lunch. Dah... simply communicationless. Haha. He (guy A) insisted on treating us... so we ordered the lime juice. I just wanna laugh it out when he was taking the order. It's just the 2 of us making order, and suddenly before he walks towards the stall, he stopped beside my female colleague and asked, "lime juice ah?"... he's so 'serious' and big expression in everything... big warning sign. Scary man. We bounced onto the guy (Guy B) whom I chatted overnite during the team building. That guy (Guy B) really cools me down. Phew. Nice seeing him. I will meet him for lunch one day.

I just hope that this guy A don't fall in love with this young lady here... she will run the next time she sees him! Godness... Uneasiness occupied every corner in my mind... yewk... luckily nv lunch alone with him... others might just think wrongly. I nv wants that to happen, I wish only with him (Guy C)...

This morning, just trying to look for another colleague at the other office, he (Guy C) picked up the call. It was pretty 'cold', but I'm quite cool this round on handling the conversation, to make it natural. He already knows who like him (and that's me), so it's really awkward. Let him cool down first. He should be matured enough to take this kinda 'blow' huh. Whatever, I'm going to see them play soccer this sunday. I will try to make an effort to talk to him. I guess certain things I really need to settle by my own, since I'm given the chance to. Wish me luck.

Good nitez.

Sunday & Monday

Sunday

Got many things done. Nearly drop dead. Bought my bookshelve from Ikea, and realised that it really make spaces for me. I'm really glad. I was really tired arranging my room, but I guess it's the most wonderful thing after my room gets no more messy again. Hurray =)


I went to Changi Hospital to visit my grandaunty. I really feel hurt to see her in this state. Minor stroke strikes her after she fell down last week at home. Her children thought that she's alright, but it shows that they were wrong. But she's really nice, I heard from mom & dad that she asked for me when they visited her last friday. Am really very touched. That's y I told myself I have to visit her. But she seems pretty tire, and not able to consume much food, and granduncle was really upset. I really felt sorry for both of them, n I sincerely hope everything will be okay.


I met up with Azhar. He got me my present. I've rode his bike, and he took me to a pond at somewhere near expo. We chat abit. The place is calm. I really felt peaceful there, but I wish it was the beach, coz I've always love the beach.

This is the present from Azhar. Thanks. I quite like it though it's quite boya, but i guess gurls really bring out the style of her. haha, girls power!



I love my new room. New mirror for me too. =)


Monday
Got to work again... what a boring day. Hmm, surprisingly, all the colleagues have heard the bump on my head... haha. I'm just wondering who's that. Me? I leak out the gas? I guess I was complaining to everyone I see asking me about how's my team building... haha, but it's really painful!

Hmmm... this guy colleague, keep teasing me, well, he makes me wanna go and watch them play soccer this Sunday. Haiz, my Sunday morning will be gone then, thought that I might be able to get up slightly later... just for the sake to see him... well.. let's hope that no one wants to come and pick me up... it's quite embarrassing actually. In fact, I wanna kick soccer too! Hee.

I met Chrissie for 'dinner'. Was her birthday yesterday. I've bought her a tube top, a pack of tin boxes and a photoframe stand... haha... just anyhow grab when I see them nice. She likes them. Great. I treated her movie too, it was actually my last yr's bday gift from JJ, well, she will treat me movie again next time =). She paid for my dinner, so it's fair, coz I seems to ate the most. Ha. I love talking to her.

Actually I sort of annoyed May. I guess she just can't understand my behaviour. She really takes things so seriously, and keep saying I'm childish. What's wrong being childish, and why take things so heartedly? It's really hurtful that she said these to me, whom I really treat her like my big sister. Well, I swear not to share with her anymore personal issues, since she can't practically take my joke. Hmm. Fine with me!

Dead tire now. Good nitez.

ENFPs - It's my character.

Btw, just to share a little from the team building course.

who am I?

ENFP: Extraverted Intuition with Introverted Feeling

It's quite true on the explanation part.

Here it says,

At their best
For people with ENFP preferences, life is a creative adventure full of exciting possibilities. ENFPs are keenly perceptive about people and insightful about the present and future. They experience a wide range of feelings and intense emotions. They need affirmation from others and readily give appreciation and support.
ENFPs are good at understanding how people and groups work and are persuasive and complling in pursuing what is important to them. They are adaptable, blooming where they are planted. Their enery and enthusiasm encourage others to bloom as well.

Characteristics of ENFPs
ENFPs are innovators, initiating projects and directing great energy into getting them under way. Using Intuition primarily externally, they find meaning and significance readily and see connections that others don't. They are likely to be
- curious, creative, and imaginative
- energtic, enthusiatic, and spontaneous

ENFPs value harmony and goodwill. They like to please others and will adapt to others' needs and wishes when possible. ENFPs primarily use Feeling internally, making decisions by applying values through identification and empathy with others. ENFPs are likely to br
- Warm, friendly, and caring
- Cooperative and supportive

ENFPs have exceptional insight into possibilities in others and the energy and motivation to help actualize them. They feel confident moving ahead based on their insights, and their enthusiam tends to bring others along with them.


So many to write... haha, all from a book... shhhh... copyright issue. Anyway, that's bout my character. I find it very true, as sometimes I find it quite hard to put things in word on how I feel about other, so through my action and behaviour, I think my friends will get to understand me better.

*Yeown*

Team building, dinner, mom & dad, Christina, & him

Ha... Let's begin with some memories back for the few days that I'm in...

Team building on 12 & 13th
well... wat's most enjoyable thing during the team building... u guys may be interested. Not the games nor the food... I'm not too into the both, coz team building to me was just a way to get out of work. Well, the most enjoyable time, I guess was 'sneaking' out of the resort (oh, btw, it's @ Orchid Country Club) after the billard and bowling session... not really sneaking out, coz it was our own free time, I guess. How should I put it, sneaking out coz my room mate keep talking none stop, neither will I get to slp nor will she stop talking, so my other guy colleague seems very nice and become my rescuer! We went out (@ bout 12 plus), on his van ride. Fun is the word. We had a good chat, abit on our life and most of it, the people @ our workplace. Not that I know of, he's actually married. Well, great for him, and good that he told me more bout the 'unknown' stuff in the office. Pretty surprise for that. But we really had a great time chatting, I would say, I preferred chatting with him than my roommate. Ha, both were toking bout company's politic, but very different opinion. Frankly speaking, I was really admiring him at the point of time he shared the things with me, of coz, that's just a sudden urge, I won't do anything silly, I promised =)

We continued to have some games on the 13th, chey, thought that I could have a good tan, but it ended up raining when both our outdoor games started (for 12th & 13th). Yah, I've got a bump on my forehead on the first day. Y? This silly partner of mine, each partner got to be blindfolded, and so happened that I started being blindfolded. He... quite a turn off for me, I guess la, not my type... well back to topic, he guided me through the path, and not that I knew that we were heading to the main door, guess he was peeking his head out of the door and didn't realise that I was heading straight to the door. n Hahaha, my head hit the side of the door. Ouch. Really a bump now. hate him so much. But he's very guilty, n we r told to be forgive and forget. Haiz. I got thot of taking my revenge, but i didn't do it. Almost, when we were sliding down, he nearly also got his head hitted. Haha. Everyone was accusing me that I was taking my revenge. Nah, I'm not that kind.

After team building program, we guys got off from the place @ 5.20pm. I had a hard time reaching home, bad timing. I've got a dinner appointment @ 7pm @ the intercontinient hotel. Rushed, and was told to wear nicely, coz we are meeting up with the MD and my GM. Hot. But i really dress nicely over. Something silly, guess I didn't hook my buttons on my levis' jean properly. 2 of the buttons went peeking out when I was seated on the bus heading to the interchange. GOsh. So embarrassing. Luckily there was a toilet @ theinterchange. Stomach wasn't good. But the buffet was great. It's at Olive Tree restaurant.

After the dinner, some of us headed to the bar.. do we call it a bar @ this bugis small street. Don't really know where we were, I think is the cane cafe. My colleague gave a treat to us, red wine. Hot. After that, we headed home. My another nice colleague, send me home first, so he paid for the taxi ride. How nice.

14th: Celebrating Dad & Mom's bday
Well, it wasn't their bday yesterday, but dad's on the 18th, n Mom on the 20th. We had an early celebration, our treat @ the sakura @ Tamp safra. Poor mama got swollen upper lip after the dinner. Not as nice as previous nite dinner, it's of coz not that nice, coz it's half price diff from last nite dinner wat!!! Very full. Dad's a little annoying. He said he thought of going to some chinese restaurant. Hmm! Gave him a scold, told him to provide suggestion and insist that we make the decision. He's always like that, giving us trouble. Dunlike him.

Anyway, I think I'm quite scared of food at this moment. Like eating none stop. But I seems to lose abit of weight. Thank god.

15th Apr: Christina's bday, going out with Azhar
I've got her something. Hope she like them.

I'm going out with Azhar ltr.. no idea where is he bringing me to. I'm quite scare of motor ride nowadays, coz hearing ppl saying how dangerous it it. And c0z I just got my driving licenses. Hmm, i wish I have a car now.

The guy that I like. Well... I sort of spread the rumour across the guys in my team building on the 13th, while having lunch with them. They were teasing me. Not that I wanna say I like him, u noe colleagues, they like to be match maker, so let them be. I'm here to tell them, and let them say it to him, "Jiemin like you, she's interested in you". Well, let's see how it goes for the next few weeks. Simply say, he already know that I like him, through the other colleague mouth. Dah!

Think I'm having a backache now, and very dry throat. It's so hot tonite. gosh.